Swan Song
by Quite Unrequited
Summary: "If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe." —Edward Cullen, Twilight— Exactly 6 months and 13 days later, Edward abandons the love of his existence in the forest. But, does a man who loves a woman so sacrificially just leave without ever knowing what's become of her? One-Shot, New Moon, EPOV


_****I own nothing and no copyright infringement intended. I do this not for compensation, but merely for the merriment of myself and my fellow twilighters. I may own a ferocious Edward appetite, but Stephenie Meyer owns all things twilight!****_

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As I sped away from my love, I could still taste the sweet flavor of our last kiss clinging softly to my lips. I loved the way it lingered, mingling there with her luscious scent and I greedily savored her lavender-freesia essence with every exquisite and excruciating breath. I stopped running about a mile out, anxiously waiting to hear her front door creak open and closed – the proof of her safe return home. Instead, I heard her delicate footfalls in the distance, heading in the opposite direction, and knew at once she was attempting to follow me. Like the dead weight that it was, my heart hung heavy within me as the sound of her sobs and erratic heartbeats were carried back to me. I winced as they mixed with my own mounting emptiness, amplifying the cold ache in my chest. Hadn't I just heard her promise not to do anything reckless or stupid? Surely, her lack of concern for her own welfare would be the second death of me!

"Unclench," I commanded myself, "she's a smart girl and must therefore comprehend the futility of this mission; she'll turn around in due course."

I lowered my head, pinched the bridge of my nose and listened intently for any evidence that she was breaking off her search. To my terror, none came. Panic colored my mind and I found myself racing back towards her at a pace which far excelled my previous flight.

"Brilliant, Edward." I berated myself. "Protect her from the perils of your world, would you, only to leave her vulnerable to every other predator in the process."

I errantly thought that leaving her with such a distasteful memory of the forest would keep her from venturing into it; my final act of protection on her behalf. With Bella, however, magnet for trouble that she is, you can never be too careful. I was grateful that, as added assurance, I left a forged note telling Charlie where to find her on the off chance she should linger:

_"Going for a walk with Edward up the path. Back soon. –B"_

To linger was one thing. I could tolerate her loitering on the path for a length of time; but, to set out alone into the dark depths of the forest, where anything that had a mind to could track her, was quite another thing entirely. Why is she being so absurd? She knows full well what kind of nightmarish creatures lurk here – creatures like me.

When she came into my sight, still too far for her human eyes to detect me, I ghosted up the nearest giant spruce, being careful to stay down wind of her. It went against every impulse in my nature to elude her in this way. All the while her silent mind begged me to ask what she was thinking; her body called to mine in unbelievably pleasant and familiar ways; and the siren song of her blood sang to me as irresistibly as ever. I burned and longed to go to her, but of this I was certain; I'd never again find the strength to leave her side if I carelessly allowed her to discover me.

"Let her live." I said in reminder, though my vampiric memory would hardly let me forget my purpose in all of this pain.

The words alone were enough to hold me fast, but I anchored myself firmly to the tree nonetheless, and it groaned beneath my grip in protest. She drew closer and I nearly gasped aloud as my eyes took in the expression on her face. I'd only left her moments before, but the face of my love was already almost unrecognizable. I'd never seen pain of this magnitude contorting her features, or such unyielding agony behind her lovely brown eyes. I was barely aware of the wind making the leaves tremble all around me, when I realized it wasn't the wind causing them to quake – it was me. My stone body was literally shaking with my soundless, tearless sobs. She was just below me now and I knew I had to compose myself or else risk discovery. So, with great effort, I steadied my breathing until I and the leaves were at last still. I allowed her to pass before pursuing from the treetops.

It was torture watching her fall again and again, yet letting her continue her course. Alas, my love fell and did not rise again. I looked on in horror as I initially wondered if she was conscious, but the soft starts and stops of her sobs soon assured me that she was. I sat motionless above her in the encroaching darkness, mesmerized as I listened to the rhythm of her heart; a sound I'd come to know as well as the keys on my piano. The one sound I'd recognize instantly, anywhere – my home is truly where her heart is. I heard an unfamiliar voice shouting her name from the path near her house. Though my hearing is superior to hers I knew she must have heard it. I curiously wondered why she didn't answer them or at least rise and start walking in their direction. I began to entertain the thought of doing so myself, shifting my weight in the tree. It creaked loudly in the silent forest causing Bella to bolt upright, whip her head around and stare straight up into its leafy heights. I was well concealed on my perch, however, and seeing nothing she settled herself back down on the ground again. While I was certainly stealthy enough to run circles around Bella without being caught, the tree would no doubt give away my position above her. The inability to get her to safety was frustrating in the extreme, but I reluctantly accepted the fact that I was, for the moment, pinned down.

After an hour, I heard the subtle change in her respiration to slow and steady breaths; the familiar, tell-tale sign that she was sleeping. Perhaps now would be an ideal time to alert someone of her presence here. I turned to leave, but froze in place at the thought of some fiend finding her in my absence.

"I'll have none of that," I growled, and resettled myself on a branch closer to where she lay, determined to guard her for as long as she slumbered.

She looked miserable and beautiful there on the forest floor. I stared unblinkingly at her sleeping form, seeking to sear her image into my mind. Immense pleasure, and pain that would have killed any mortal man, filled my being as I gazed. And just when I thought the intensity of the moment would plunge me into my own oblivion, her lips began to tremble. I braced myself as I eagerly anticipated the thrill of hearing her unguarded thoughts.

"Edward," she said, smiling, the very sound sending warm waves from my silent heart, which quickly radiated throughout my entire body.

"Edward, the pain is killing me. Come back…please come back." She was weeping uncontrollably now and the words, which she repeated, were like a noose strangling us both.

"I'm here, Bella, love…I'm right here," I said, digging my fingers into the tree, willing myself not to move, though, I could already feel my resolve slipping from me.

She was in torment and I longed for nothing more than to envelope her softness with my strength. I knew this action would serve for our mutual comfort, and my muscles twitched slightly at the thought.

"Careful, Edward," I said in warning to myself. "You're supposed to be giving her up for her own good, and are only here now for her protection." I dug deeper into the tree; it cracked and creaked forebodingly in response.

"I'm afraid, Edward." She whimpered quietly.

"I'll protect you, Bella." I vowed, hoping my promise would somehow penetrate her subconscious.

Moments passed and she began to mumble incoherently, her petite frame rustling the leaves as her sleep grew more restless. Her suffering was my suffering and I knew I wouldn't be able to take much more of this. All I wanted was to break free from this self imposed prison and wrap my empty arms around her.

"Please hold me, Edward." She croaked, and though barely a whisper, I heard her.

And with that quiet plea, she broke me. How could I possibly deny her when she begged me for what we both wanted so desperately? The force of my grip proved to be too much as my perch suddenly gave way, sending it, my fallen resolve, and me hurtling through space. I caught the broken bough and cradled it securely under my arm, then let it drop gingerly just prior to making contact with the ground. As intended, it barely made a sound. I landed silently a few feet away from Bella, who was still restless and weeping. I lay down behind her and wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I dared without waking her. Bella slept on, motionless, as I was now there to hold her still, but she continued to cry.

"Hush now, my love." I whispered in her ear.

Immediately she turned herself in my arms and the full force of her loveliness smote me. For an immeasurable moment, all I could do was stare breathlessly at her lovely tear-stained face. I could feel her warm, wet tears seep through the sleeve of my shirt and, automatically, I did what I knew would chase Bella's nightmares away – I began to hum her lullaby. Though I knew it was short-lived, I reveled at having her in my arms again, not withholding the joy of our brief reunion from my heart. I didn't know how I would manage to tear myself away from her, or live any form of a life apart from her.

"You will let her live." I said too quietly for her or anyone to hear, had anyone been there to hear.

Yes, I would let her live, that was already decided, but I would also let myself love this one last time. She was resting peacefully now and I sighed with the satisfaction of knowing my presence was still soothing to her.

We'd been laying there for hours when I detected a strange mental voice in the distance, followed by a faint, familiar and foul odor in the night air. The voice and malodorous scent belonged to a solitary wolf, Sam Uley, and he was searching for my Bella.

"Hold on, my love, your rescue is coming." I said softly, as I pressed a cool kiss into her warm hair.

Minutes passed and my patience waned with the realization that the trail he was following was old. One she'd left while walking through the ferns in the forest near her house one late afternoon. Well this is maddening; at this rate it will be close to dawn before he finds her. I gently released Bella from my hold; she stirred slightly, but did not wake. My poor love was exhausted from the day's ordeal and would no less sleep the remainder of the night and the next day away. I pressed another kiss onto her forehead before breaking into a full sprint towards her would-be rescuer. I followed his scent until I spotted him about 100 yards off. Knowing that was close enough to alert his nose to my presence, without stopping, I turned and made my way back to Bella. I could hear in Sam's thoughts that he was immediately on full alert. Without haste, he pursued what he considered a sickly sweet aroma towards me, and unbeknownst to him, towards Bella.

I reached her still sleeping figure minutes before he would appear. I carefully stroked her hair , her face and traced the supple shape of her mouth with my finger. I brought my lips within inches of hers, closed my eyes and imagined I was kissing her goodbye. Suddenly, without warning, I felt her hand on the back of my neck as her warm lips pressed feverishly against mine – fire and ice. At once I opened my eyes and found that she was still fast asleep. She moved her tongue very slowly against my closed lips, silently asking for entrance. Although the ecstasy of her seduction was exquisite, I unwillingly and gently pulled my face away from hers. As much as I desired to prolong her unconscious kiss, I didn't dare take such liberties with her. She was _unconscious_, after all, and far more importantly, no longer mine.

"Ah, my sweet, passionate girl," I breathed, "For as long as I exist, this cold, dead heart will love you."

I shook my head as I appraised the obvious conflict between my head and my heart, and realized that millennia might pass before I'd ever begin to see Bella as anything other than mine – likely longer. The mere thought of infinite days without her unleashed such a devastating, black hole of sorrow inside me. I struggled for life and breath as it ripped and pulled at me, threatening to tear me apart. Her hand caressed my face just then, ushering in my salvation and bringing me back to myself. I placed my hand over hers, holding it to my face with silent gratitude.

Sam's arrival was imminent and I reluctantly released my love and flew to the top of the tree again. The rain began to fall and Bella awoke, covering her face with her hands as a shield against the unwelcome invasion. A short time later there were several more voices calling for her, but from deeper within the forest this time. It was difficult watching him snuffling the ground, out of her line of sight, yet so close to where she lay…but I knew he would not hurt her. He phased and dressed behind a nearby tree, then, with lantern in hand, began his return to her. When he approached, he called her name and she stared quizzically up at him. He asked her if she had been injured and waited for her reply. When none came he offered a brief introduction and explained that Charlie sent him to bring her home, he then extended his hand to help her up. She was still unresponsive. He shrugged and gently lifted her limp body into his arms. I noticed how she succumbed to her exhaustion again, slipping swiftly and deeply into unconsciousness.

"I love you, Edward." She murmured as he turned and ran her towards home.

"As I love you, my love." I answered softly to the wind as I watched her retreating form.

When they were gone, I jumped noiselessly to the ground below, and immediately felt the absence of her everywhere I looked. The anguish of knowing I'd never see her blush scarlet again filled me with a brand new burning. One I sensed would not soon be extinguished. With tremendous effort, I sped away from my love for the last time and disappeared into the merciless, moonless night.


End file.
